I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
