Whod you bang
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
