Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just found puke in my bra..
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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