You were right. It hurts to walk today.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
