ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I touched a dick in church today
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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