Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This is my gift to your gina
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
