Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
