I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
