ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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