she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
