...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
