Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
