Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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