We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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