i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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