yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
