just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
