does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
