let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
