I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
