Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
