so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
