Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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