from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
