hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
