I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This baby is an asshole
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
