So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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