You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
