I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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