i would punch a child for taco bell
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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