come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
