This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
