he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
