How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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