I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
