her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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