dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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