I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
