Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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