dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
