Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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