i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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