ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
