That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
