im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
