when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he shaved USA in his pubs
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
