Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The ass gains better be worth it
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