i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
