Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
