I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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