I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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