she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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